Why do we explode with Anger?

Have you ever had a bit of a meltdown? Thrown a temper tantrum, dummy spit, or any other kind of angry outburst?

Doesn’t matter what we call it – at the end of the day, we need to be aware when our anger is building up on the inside, and sometimes we explode!

Was this a bit of a surprise for you at the time, a bit out of character for you?  Or does this happen to you all the time?

We need to be aware of what impact we have on those around us, but sometimes our emotions get the better of us, and we go into overwhelm!

Sometimes this can be a bit of a surprise when it happens – how about you – how does this make you feel?

And it is not just us that get a shock – it can definitely be a nasty shock to those around us, and this is not a good thing!

Anger does Matter

Yes anger does matter, and it is not something we can just sweep under the carpet

No matter whether we get angry at people, or animals, or inanimate objects – it can affect other people, even if we don’t mean to!

How does this make you feel?  It is not the best feeling to hurt other people!

So we need to find out why we do it, and what we can do about it….

I will share a secret with you – it is just like a bucket!

• We are all born with a bucket, and it starts off empty
• As we grow older, we tend to throw all our bad feelings and emotions into the bucket
• And we try to forget, suppress and ignore whatever people have done to us
• It can be family, friends, teachers, or society who have caused us pain, and we want to avoid it, so we through it all in the bucket
• And we never really deal with the emotions around the issue, we just try to ignore it
• So the bucket gradually fills up
• Until one day – BOOM – the bucket fills up to the top and starts to overflow
• The problem is we explode and all those around us see the anger, the temper, and they head for the hills!
• But the problem is that the bucket isn’t empty – and it keeps on filling up again!
• And eventually the bucket will overflow again and again – Does this sound familiar???

 

Is your Bucket of Anger Full?

Are you worried that your bucket is ready to overflow at any time, and you might have another meltdown? Are you bothered about who might get hurt?

Well, you should be because other people do get hurt, even if we don’t mean to be angry directly at them…

OK – so how do we empty the BUCKET?

The obvious solution is to empty out the bucket, right?

But we need to understand what is in there – remember it is full of emotions, and feelings, and all sorts of funny stuff…

So how do we empty a bucket full of that mess?

If I told you that there was a Magic Chill Pill that would solve all the problems and just make it go away – would you take it?

Take a Chill Pill for Anger!

The trouble is that anger issues and angry behaviour have taken a long time to build up…

These things have been around for years, slowly building up, filling up the bucket, and becoming a habit…

• Something we observed when we were much younger?
• Something our parents did or said?
• Something our teachers did or said?
• Something we saw on TV?

The trouble is that all of these things have caused some kind of impact on our lives, and we just keep throwing it all in the bucket!

And this is why is anger becomes a habit, because it just builds up over time.

Even though we don’t realise it, we sometimes use anger as a defensive weapon – we use it to avoid those awkward, uncomfortable or confrontational situations! It can be a very effective way of avoiding confrontation – by allowing our anger to take over

And if we use this anger tactic – and if it works, then we learnt to keep doing it – another reason it becomes a habit!

But what is the COST OF ANGER?

• Does your anger cause problems with your relationships?
• Does anger cause problems at work?
• Does anger cause problems with your partner?
• Does anger cause problems with your kids?

So what are you going to do about it?

Maybe you don’t know what to do about it? Maybe you are worried that anger issues are something that is uncontrollable?

Maybe you are worried that there is something wrong with you? Maybe it has something to do with the wiring in our brain?

There is nothing wrong with you!

Well, I will ask you again, if you thought that there was such a thing as a Magic Chill Pill – do you think that would fix things?

Maybe it would, maybe it won’t – but the bad news is there is no such magic pill…

Sure you can go to the GP and ask for help – But they are only trained to provide medicine to fix problems..

SO they will probably give you medicine that will promise to calm you down, but more likely it just makes you tired and sleepy?

BUT – That doesn’t fix the problem!

The problem lies a little deeper than that, and the secret as I already talked about is the BUCKET.

We need to work out why we have fired up emotions and feelings of anger, and work out why we explode all the time.

And I hope you are still with me on this, because that is exactly what we are going to do!

We can fix the problem with ANGER

If any of this has resonated with you, then I would love you to join me, so that we can continue to work on this, and dig a little deeper.

But the message for today is – have patience, because I promise you amazing results.

But these issues took a while to build up – So please allow some time to work it out!

Please give yourself the gift of understanding, and the gift of TIME…

Because if you care about yourself and the other people around you – this is worth every second of your time!